Recommended Books and Other Resources

Crisis Resources:

King County Crisis Line — 866-427-4747 (This is a 24-hour hotline staffed by volunteers who are available to help provide support and help through crisis, which can include suicidal thoughts, addiction, abuse, loss, or symptoms of mental illness.)

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline — Dial 988 (available 24 hours/day)

Trauma and Emotions:

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — by Pete Walker - This is the most clear, compelling, and instructive book I know for understanding and processing trauma and attachment wounds from childhood. A good place to start for anyone recovering from childhood trauma.  

The Tao of Fully Feeling — by Pete Walker - This book focuses on helping you reclaim a healthy relationship to emotion, learning to relentlessly be there for yourself in all emotional states, and learning how to find relief through grieving past pain and unjust treatment. A good companion to the Complex PSTD book listed above.

The Body Keeps the Score — by Bessel Van Der Kolk - A popular book offering a helpful understanding of trauma, how it affects us consciously and unconsciously (including in our bodies and nervous systems), and pathways to healing.

No Bad Parts — by Richard Schwartz - A book that presents the Internal Family Systems approach to “parts work.” It offers a framework to relate with curiosity and compassion to the different parts of ourselves. This includes the vulnerable parts that hold our deepest emotional pain (often our inner child), and protective parts that work relentlessly to manage our lives or to distract and numb us to keep unprocessed emotional pain at bay.

Relationships:

Hold Me Tight — by Sue Johnson - A book to help understand and break free of painful cycles of relationship conflict. It draws on the principles of Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) to offer guidance to build emotional safety, vulnerability, and closeness within your relationship.

The New Rules of Marriage — by Terrance Real - A helpful guide for understanding dysfunctional relationship habits (that we all engage in, in one way or another), and how to shift these patterns into ones that are more functional, mutually beneficial, and intimacy-generating.

Attached — by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - A good introduction to attachment theory and attachment styles. Attachment styles are internalized emotion-based templates for how we interact in adult relationships based on early relationships with caregivers. By knowing our attachment styles, we gain a powerful understanding of ourselves in relationships (as well as our partners), and we are more equipped to build healthy and secure relationships. 

Behavior Change:

Atomic Habits — by James Clear - A book detailing how our actions and habits can shape our identities, with practical methods for building and breaking habits.

Addiction:

Free Support Groups / Programs for Addiction Recovery: 

12-Step Recovery Groups - Many people find 12-step programs instrumental in addiction recovery. Programs include Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Codependents Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families, and Al-Anon (for family members of someone with a drinking problem). Search for the group you’re interested in for more info.

Recovery Dharma - a Buddhist-oriented, non-theistic recovery program for addictions of all types. A good alternative to 12-step if that’s not your thing. recoverydharma.org

Neurodiversity:

Unmasking Autism — by Devon Price  - A book normalizing and depathologizing the experiences of adults with autism, and offering a hopeful framework for self-acceptance, authenticity, and unmasking. Unmasking is when autistic adults (in ways that feel safe for them) let go of the ways they have learned to play the part of someone they are not in order to meet internalized neurotypical familial and social norms, often at great cost to themselves and their mental health.

ADHD 2.0 — by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey - This book offers an understanding of the strengths and vulnerabilities that come with ADHD, helps drain away the unnecessary shame that many with ADHD carry, and offers strategies and advice for managing ADHD so you can thrive and achieve your goals.

Panic Attacks:

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast — by Barry McDonagh - A book (with a companion app) that provides practical education and tools to break the self-reinforcing cycle of panic & anxiety attacks.

Grief and Loss:

The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief — by Francis Weller - A beautifully written book exploring, normalizing, and validating the experience of loss. This book guides us more deeply and consciously through the heartbreaking and heart-opening process of grieving.

It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand — by Devine Megan - Written by a therapist who suddenly lost her partner to a tragic accident, this book is a companion for those in the grieving process. It normalizes the at times unbearable pain of grief, discusses the way our culture struggles to support those going through deep loss, and can help you find ways to keep going, even if you are forever changed by the loss.

Narcissistic Abuse:

It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People — by Ramani Durvasula - A guide to understanding, navigating, and protecting yourself in relationships (romantic, family, work) with people who exist on the spectrum of narcissistic personality traits.

Dating:

How to Not Die Alone — by Logan Ury - A practical guide for navigating dating, understanding your needs and wants, challenging unrealistic dating expectations, and evaluating potential partners effectively.

How to Be Single and Happy — by Jennifer Taitz - A guide to building a life where you can find fulfillment and meaning when single, which can help create the conditions to bring a healthy relationship into your life (or just live a happy life being single).