What is EFT Couples Therapy?

I offer Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples. EFT is based in attachment theory and focuses on cultivating emotional vulnerability and emotional safety within relationships.

This approach operates on the understanding that underlying most relationship conflicts are unmet attachment needs (to feel safe, understood, soothed, appreciated, and allowed to be your authentic self) and fears of rejection or abandonment. EFT helps couples get in touch with their core emotions and needs, find empathy for one another, and build connection and safety from this place.

The Three Phases of EFT Couples Therapy

Phase 1: De-escalation. The first phase of therapy involves identifying the negative cycles of conflict in the relationship. With the cycle identified, partners can untie against “the cycle“ as the problem, rather than seeing each other as the problem.

You and your partner will learn to recognize your triggers and better understand the emotional dynamics of your relationship. You will gain insight into the tender fears and attachment needs that often underlie conflict, and begin to see each other in a new light. You will build greater safety and begin to develop the trust needed to be more emotionally vulnerable with each other.

Phase 2: Restructuring. In the restructuring phase, you and your partner will dive more deeply into your vulnerable emotions and attachment needs. As vulnerable emotions surface, you will discover how to be there for each other in ways that feel nourishing and safe. You will learn to help each other feel seen and heard.

As you practice new ways of relating and showing up for each other in your deeper emotional experience, you will experience a deepening of your connection and intimacy. You will learn how to meet each other’s needs more reliably, and you will have opportunities to heal past ruptures that have had a damaging effect on the relationship.

Phase 3: Consolidation. The third phase is where we work to integrate your new ways of being there for each other into daily life.

You will learn strategies for maintaining emotional closeness and resolving future conflicts constructively, and build confidence that you will be able to successfully navigate challenges together in the future.

If your relationship is in distress or you just wish to be closer and have a stronger partnership, please reach out for a free consultation.